About Nile
Here is an article about me that was published
in "Good Stuff Magazine". Written by Guy B. Phony
in "Good Stuff Magazine". Written by Guy B. Phony
I was recently given the opportunity to interview Comedian Nile
Dean. I tried my best to get out of it but was forced to do it
anyway. Here is his pathetic story of his rise to mediocrity in the
world of Stand-Up Comedy.
"In the beginning some humans walked the earth. These
humans, or 'people' as we now call them, often got mad at
each other and bad stuff happened. This cycle continued
throughout history. Every time people got mad, bad Stuff
would happen", according to Dean.
Then one day Nile was born. His very first words were
"whaaaaa!" Which can be translated into an old Native
American proverb meaning, "How you guys doin' tonight?" Though at
the time no one was quite sure what it meant. Nile then
peed on the nurse, shit himself, and fell fast asleep. Till
this day this remains one of Nile's favorite
activities....uh ...Well the sleeping part that is. Nile
then struggled through a period in his life where he did
nothing more than eat, sleep, and shit himself. He now
claims it was just a "phase" he was going through and calls
it "my eating, sleeping and shitting myself phase".
Eventually, Nile began playing with toys and speaking
English. He soon found himself in a school surrounded by
other young children who struggled through similar "phases
of eating, sleeping, and shitting themselves". Nile quickly
discovered he had a natural ability to do stupid stuff.
Also he wrote stuff on paper. Later, Nile would combine
these new found skills and write stupid stuff on paper.
This often led to trouble for Nile when his stupid stuff
made people "Mad" and "Bad Stuff" happened.
After many years of detention, Nile went to work where he
excelled at eating, sleeping, and other break time
activities. This gave Nile the time he needed to hone his
skill of writing stupid stuff. Not being very smart, Nile's
mouth continued to cause "Bad Stuff" to happen by making
people "Mad".
Finally, one day Nile took his reasonably mediocre looks
combined with his highly polished skills of stupidity to
the stage where he could say stupid stuff and not make
people "Mad". (Although it should be noted that he still
seeks out pre approval for his stupid stuff from Al
Sharpton just to be safe. After all, he does suffer from
"White Man Syndrome" or "Crackeritis" which can be a fatal
condition in Comedians.) It was then that he discovered he
could make people laugh and thereby decrease the number of
"Mad" people among us. Nile now sees himself as a role
model for others who make people "Mad". "Together we have the
power to put an end to 'Bad Stuff' in our time" Nile says. "Through
laughter we can make people less 'Mad'. If there is one thing history has
taught us it is that when people get 'Mad'......'Bad Stuff' happens" he
adds.
Though he seems incredibly ignorant and constantly babbles,
I really think there is an underlying wisdom to be found in
the words of Nile Dean. I'm just not sure what that wisdom
is because he filled my head with so much silly gibberish
during this interview. Hell, I didn't even want to write
this stupid article so screw it! You figure it out. It's
crappy assignments like this that really make me "Mad".
Story By Guy B. Phony, Chief Corespondent for "Good Stuff
Magazine". (Until he was fired for getting "Mad" about
being given this crappy assignment)
Dean. I tried my best to get out of it but was forced to do it
anyway. Here is his pathetic story of his rise to mediocrity in the
world of Stand-Up Comedy.
"In the beginning some humans walked the earth. These
humans, or 'people' as we now call them, often got mad at
each other and bad stuff happened. This cycle continued
throughout history. Every time people got mad, bad Stuff
would happen", according to Dean.
Then one day Nile was born. His very first words were
"whaaaaa!" Which can be translated into an old Native
American proverb meaning, "How you guys doin' tonight?" Though at
the time no one was quite sure what it meant. Nile then
peed on the nurse, shit himself, and fell fast asleep. Till
this day this remains one of Nile's favorite
activities....uh ...Well the sleeping part that is. Nile
then struggled through a period in his life where he did
nothing more than eat, sleep, and shit himself. He now
claims it was just a "phase" he was going through and calls
it "my eating, sleeping and shitting myself phase".
Eventually, Nile began playing with toys and speaking
English. He soon found himself in a school surrounded by
other young children who struggled through similar "phases
of eating, sleeping, and shitting themselves". Nile quickly
discovered he had a natural ability to do stupid stuff.
Also he wrote stuff on paper. Later, Nile would combine
these new found skills and write stupid stuff on paper.
This often led to trouble for Nile when his stupid stuff
made people "Mad" and "Bad Stuff" happened.
After many years of detention, Nile went to work where he
excelled at eating, sleeping, and other break time
activities. This gave Nile the time he needed to hone his
skill of writing stupid stuff. Not being very smart, Nile's
mouth continued to cause "Bad Stuff" to happen by making
people "Mad".
Finally, one day Nile took his reasonably mediocre looks
combined with his highly polished skills of stupidity to
the stage where he could say stupid stuff and not make
people "Mad". (Although it should be noted that he still
seeks out pre approval for his stupid stuff from Al
Sharpton just to be safe. After all, he does suffer from
"White Man Syndrome" or "Crackeritis" which can be a fatal
condition in Comedians.) It was then that he discovered he
could make people laugh and thereby decrease the number of
"Mad" people among us. Nile now sees himself as a role
model for others who make people "Mad". "Together we have the
power to put an end to 'Bad Stuff' in our time" Nile says. "Through
laughter we can make people less 'Mad'. If there is one thing history has
taught us it is that when people get 'Mad'......'Bad Stuff' happens" he
adds.
Though he seems incredibly ignorant and constantly babbles,
I really think there is an underlying wisdom to be found in
the words of Nile Dean. I'm just not sure what that wisdom
is because he filled my head with so much silly gibberish
during this interview. Hell, I didn't even want to write
this stupid article so screw it! You figure it out. It's
crappy assignments like this that really make me "Mad".
Story By Guy B. Phony, Chief Corespondent for "Good Stuff
Magazine". (Until he was fired for getting "Mad" about
being given this crappy assignment)
Places where I have performed.
The Improv, Schaumburg
Joe's on Weed st. in Chicago
Starbusters in Dekalb, IL
Jokes and Notes Chicago
The Spoken word Cafe in Chicago
Zanies Chicago
Comedy Comedy (Walter Payton's
Roundhouse) in Aurora, IL
The Joke Joint, MN
The Clearwater Theater in West
Dundee, IL
Barrel of Laughs in Oak Lawn, IL
Cigars and Stripes in Berwyn, IL
The Dragon Inn in Sullivan, IL
Edge Comedy in Chicago, IL
Maxim Nightclub
Niko's Lodge in Wasco, IL
The Comedy Shrine in Naperville, IL
Tavern Off The Fox in Aurora, IL
The Roadhouse in Channon, IL
Comedy Under The Tap in Oswego, IL
The Capitol Club, Chicago
Club Watra, Chicago
The Des Planes Theater, Des Planes IL
The Moose Lodge, Dekalb IL
Studio B, Chicago
The Improv, Schaumburg
Joe's on Weed st. in Chicago
Starbusters in Dekalb, IL
Jokes and Notes Chicago
The Spoken word Cafe in Chicago
Zanies Chicago
Comedy Comedy (Walter Payton's
Roundhouse) in Aurora, IL
The Joke Joint, MN
The Clearwater Theater in West
Dundee, IL
Barrel of Laughs in Oak Lawn, IL
Cigars and Stripes in Berwyn, IL
The Dragon Inn in Sullivan, IL
Edge Comedy in Chicago, IL
Maxim Nightclub
Niko's Lodge in Wasco, IL
The Comedy Shrine in Naperville, IL
Tavern Off The Fox in Aurora, IL
The Roadhouse in Channon, IL
Comedy Under The Tap in Oswego, IL
The Capitol Club, Chicago
Club Watra, Chicago
The Des Planes Theater, Des Planes IL
The Moose Lodge, Dekalb IL
Studio B, Chicago
Me with Jessie Money and some ugly guy who claims to be my brother.
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Okay, who tipped off the Fuzz?